I do not understand what my deal was, but yesterday I was a grump. I think it was the first time I actually did not want to see people but lock myself up into my room and become a hermit. I did not have any significant excuse, I guess I have just been so stressed keeping up with 9 classes. (Not to mention I need a social life... or do I?) I can honestly also say that I was not successful at pulling my self from my own slumps. Looking back at yesterday, I am just plain embarrassed with myself! Coming back to this....
So Kasey called me and even to him it was obvious that I was not my peppy happy self. So he came over and even though I did not want to go anywhere, or even move my feet let alone drag them across the floor, we walked all the way to the Museum of Art on campus... or as I like to call it the MOA. We then went and viewed the Carl Bloch exhibit and it was beautiful. That is when I came to realization number one:
1. I am so privileged to have a Savior, Jesus Christ, that has made the greatest sacrifice for not only me but the WHOLE world. Then as I contemplated this realization number two came...
2. I am so lucky to have so many great opportunities, like seeing the Carl Bloch exhibit, or even having a Q&A with Sister Julie B. Beck. Being at BYU has opened so many doors for me and has given me the chance to meet some FANTASTIC friends might I add! Which went to thought process number 3:
3: I have the best friends ever. Everyday they are just so great to me. the end.
4: I have the best family ever. My mom texted me from Jamaica to tell me she loved me and that she had hoped I was having a great day, and my Dad called me and said that he got us tickets to General Conference when he comes to visit me in April, I am stoked!
Then Kasey took me for some yum-yum ice cream at sub-zero... I was craving a waffle-cone... I got black raspberry with cheesecake bits and Kasey got raspberry with cheesecake bits. If you have not ever been to sub-zero, its really cool because you choose your type of milk, your flavor and your mix-ins and they FREEZE the ice-cream right in front of you! It was good and it made me laugh... plus Kasey said a dumb joke involving pizza but it was kinda funny.
So then I came to another realization:
5. Kasey is pretty cool... plus he compliments me all the time, and who can ever get enough compliments?
Then I did some homework and this is when I got a total SLAP in the face. I was doing my readings for my religion class strengthening marriage and family, and the topic of the talks I was to read was pride.
I thought yea yea I have heard this shpeal a thousand times... but as I kept reading one talk in particular by Ezra Taft Benson from his conference report in 1989, I came across these words...
"Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. "How everything effects me" is the center of all that maters-- self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking."
That's when I figured what my deal was, I was being selfish and I do not even know what my issue was but as I had my own pity party for losing my planner and just being a grump... I was being prideful. At that point I realized I really was blessed, and was happy with myself, and I know that yeah I might not be the best flute player in the world, but I will be my best. I may not get a perfect 4.0 but I will try and do my best schoolwork. I may not be able to finish all my homework or get an A on every test.... but as I strive to do well things will work out and being here at BYU there are times I feel inadequate but thats okay.... I have heard many other people say they feel that way too.
I am happy and I love life the way it is :)